Shakespearean Insults, Bitches!

No matter how much literature changes and how different our times get, Shakespeare’s works are relevant. As his birthday (actually his baptism date since his birthdate is unknown) approaches, wouldn’t it be fun to hurl insults at each other in the words of Shakespeare? 

Here is a list of Shakespearean insults. All you have to do is take one word/phrase from each column and then fling it at the artless bat-fowling barnacle that looks at you the wrong way. It is important to preface this with "Thou" or "Thou art a..."Don’t be a frothy flap-mouthed pignut. Try it out.

Overwhelmed at the Festival of Books

Last weekend I went to the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. Although I have always been a bibliophile I have never had a chance to visit this event. Something always got in the way. Not this year though. I was lucky enough to attend day one of the festival with my wife and my infant son.

The festival of books took place on the campus of the University of Southern California on the weekend of April 12 and 13. This was the 19th year of the event and the second year in a row that USC has hosted. More than 150,000 people of all ages attended the festival making it "the largest and most prestigious literary event in North America," according to the LA Times.

Let me begin by saying that it was great to see such a large turn out for a festival whose main focus was literature. It kind of restored some hope for humanity in my mind. I mean, to be honest, I knew people still read, but I didn't think they really cared about literature. I hate crowded places, but it was pleasant to share the day with thousands of book lovers.

The Year of the Horse, and Jackie Robinson

            This post is a little late, but I wanted to give proper praise and recognition to Jackie Robinson. April 15 is not a national holiday, but it is a day of remembrance and a celebrated day across the United States. This is Jackie Robinson Day across all Major League ballparks. It is the day that Jackie Robinson entered Major League Baseball as the first African-American to play in the big leagues. The historical impact has reverberated throughout the ages, and across the spectrum of our culture. This one event in the world of sports has had an impact on everything, including our literary world.

            When I was a young boy I was given a copy of the book In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson, written by Bette Bao Lord. I was a young baseball fan growing up in Los Angeles, so of course I rooted for the Dodgers. At that age though, I had not been exposed to the history of the franchise; including the monumental event of Robinson breaking the color barrier.

            In this short novel written for grade school aged children, Lord tells the story of Shirley Temple Wong who is a young Chinese girl who has immigrated to America with her family in the same year that Robinson joined the Dodgers. Shirley faces many prejudices at school because she is different and because she doesn’t speak English well. Shirley becomes a follower of Robinson and through him she finds motivation and courage to pursue happiness in the United States.

Parts of Speech

Parts of Speech

            We have already discussed common mistakes made in grammar, and there are a million posts on blogs about those mistakes littering the Internet. Let’s take it up a notch. Before I jump into any complex or strange rules of grammar that no one understands, I am going to focus on parts of speech today. Sure, you may think you know your parts of speech, but lets just give it a refresher because it is fun to get to know your language on a deeper level. For example, did you know that there is a name for everything? Seriously. You know that little dot above every lower case i and every lower case j? That has a name. It is called a tittle. And since I told you that little bit of useless knowledge you might as well know that the horizontal line that crosses your t is called a crossbar.

            Okay, back to parts of speech. Let us start with the most popular members of our parts of speech:

Poetry Slam: Snap Your Fingers

            A couple of weeks ago the high school where I currently teach hosted a very special event. This is my first year at this school, so I had never heard of nor participated in what found out was called “Get Lit.” This is an event where local students and young people from around Los Angeles stand on our stage and recite poetry to our students. My first reaction was one of sheer horror. I reached for my riot gear before heading for the auditorium. Surely this would be a disaster. Boy was I wrong.

            As awesome as this sounded, I had predetermined that our students would not buy into this event. I have taught poetry for several years now and I am always met with slight hesitation, and then the students are wowed because they end up “getting” what the poem is about. This, on the other hand, was a poetry slam.

            As the slam started the MC, a man in charge of the GetLit program, welcomed the students and gave them a few rules and instructions on manners. His calm and jovial presence made everyone in the audience feel comfortable and excited. He too the students to be respectful, but to express their connection with the poets with snaps, claps, and by interjecting by saying "word" if you agreed. It felt as though we were waiting to see a rock show or a debut of a new movie.

Common Mistakes

The beautiful thing about the internet is that there is an endless amount of information and entertainment available at your fingertips. But there is more to the net than conspiracy theorists pages, porn sites, and videos of cats being cute. Millions of people (billions?) use social networks to express themselves. The problem is most of us are expressing ourselves incorrectly, grammatically speaking.

Don’t get me wrong; I am no exception to this problem. As someone with a degree in English I am often the target of ridicule when I make a grammatical mistake. Like most things in life, grammar takes practice and we can all use some practice when remembering the complexities that make up the English language.


This video surfaced out of frustration from seeing so many people make the same common mistakes: