English is Crazy

Every language has its quirks. For example, it always sounds like you are upset if you are speaking German. In French, everything sounds fancy. Some people speak Spanish so quickly that it sounds like a motorboat. But English takes first prize.

            Our language is derived of many different languages. English is comprised of Latin, Germanic, and even French to create an Anglo-Saxon collection of languages. We borrow from many languages to get the mess that comes out of our mouths every day.

            This summarizes it pretty well. Strange how you can chop a tree down and then chop it up.

            Of course many things happened along the evolution of our language, including the Great Vowel Shift, but that is a story for another day. Here is the history part of our where English comes from:

Colon-oscopy...Not as Gross as it Sounds

Ok, so now we are getting into a little bit of the hardcore grammar nazi type stuff. Punctuation can be a tricky thing at times, but colons and semicolons seem to intimidate some non-grammarians. The most use these punctuation pals get now is as the eyes in your emojis. But they so much more than that. Well, they are a little more than that. Like all forms of punctuation they serve a purpose, and here it is:

Colons

Colons are used after independent clauses to introduce a list, an appositive, an amplification/emphasis, or an illustrative quote. Colons break up sentences to let the reader know that what follows (after the colon) is important and closely related to the sentence that precedes it.

If we are talking about lists, colons work in this regard, “A master chef need three tools: a sharp knife, a hot pan, and the right ingredients.”

Colons can also be used to join two independent clauses. Strunk and White offer this example: “But even so, there was a directness and dispatch about animal burial: there was no stopover in the undertaker’s foul parlor, no wreath or spray.”

Finally, colons can be used to introduce a quote that adds to the meaning of your words, as I did when I introduced the quote by Strunk and White (see what I did there? Two birds with on stone).

$150 for Your Thoughts?

            I recently purchased a brand new car. I have had several cars in my life so far, but all of them were used or passed down to me in some way. Last year I purchased a brand new SUV for my wife since we were pregnant with our first child. I wanted something a bit more reliable than what we had. This year it was my turn. I shopped around and researched as much as I could. Realistically though it boiled down to what kind of payments I would be making. In the end, I purchased a 2014 Ford Fiesta Titanium Edition. This has all of the bells and whistles (something I am not used to) and it was very affordable.

                                      

            In January of this year I received a letter in the mail asking if I wanted to participate in a survey from Ford regarding the Fiesta. Normally I scowl at such letters for wasting precious seconds of my life, but this survey was different. In big bold letters the survey said, “takes a few minutes and you will receive $150 for your time.” My interest was piqued. In short, the letter stated that Fiesta owners were being asked to participate in both an online survey, and a panel interview. I figured I would take a few minutes and see what would happen. After completing the survey I received a phone call. Then I received an invitation. Then I answered some questions in person from some very nice automotive engineers. Then I received a check.

Shakespearean Insults, Bitches!

No matter how much literature changes and how different our times get, Shakespeare’s works are relevant. As his birthday (actually his baptism date since his birthdate is unknown) approaches, wouldn’t it be fun to hurl insults at each other in the words of Shakespeare? 

Here is a list of Shakespearean insults. All you have to do is take one word/phrase from each column and then fling it at the artless bat-fowling barnacle that looks at you the wrong way. It is important to preface this with "Thou" or "Thou art a..."Don’t be a frothy flap-mouthed pignut. Try it out.

Overwhelmed at the Festival of Books

Last weekend I went to the Los Angeles Times Festival of Books. Although I have always been a bibliophile I have never had a chance to visit this event. Something always got in the way. Not this year though. I was lucky enough to attend day one of the festival with my wife and my infant son.

The festival of books took place on the campus of the University of Southern California on the weekend of April 12 and 13. This was the 19th year of the event and the second year in a row that USC has hosted. More than 150,000 people of all ages attended the festival making it "the largest and most prestigious literary event in North America," according to the LA Times.

Let me begin by saying that it was great to see such a large turn out for a festival whose main focus was literature. It kind of restored some hope for humanity in my mind. I mean, to be honest, I knew people still read, but I didn't think they really cared about literature. I hate crowded places, but it was pleasant to share the day with thousands of book lovers.

The Year of the Horse, and Jackie Robinson

            This post is a little late, but I wanted to give proper praise and recognition to Jackie Robinson. April 15 is not a national holiday, but it is a day of remembrance and a celebrated day across the United States. This is Jackie Robinson Day across all Major League ballparks. It is the day that Jackie Robinson entered Major League Baseball as the first African-American to play in the big leagues. The historical impact has reverberated throughout the ages, and across the spectrum of our culture. This one event in the world of sports has had an impact on everything, including our literary world.

            When I was a young boy I was given a copy of the book In the Year of the Boar and Jackie Robinson, written by Bette Bao Lord. I was a young baseball fan growing up in Los Angeles, so of course I rooted for the Dodgers. At that age though, I had not been exposed to the history of the franchise; including the monumental event of Robinson breaking the color barrier.

            In this short novel written for grade school aged children, Lord tells the story of Shirley Temple Wong who is a young Chinese girl who has immigrated to America with her family in the same year that Robinson joined the Dodgers. Shirley faces many prejudices at school because she is different and because she doesn’t speak English well. Shirley becomes a follower of Robinson and through him she finds motivation and courage to pursue happiness in the United States.

Parts of Speech

Parts of Speech

            We have already discussed common mistakes made in grammar, and there are a million posts on blogs about those mistakes littering the Internet. Let’s take it up a notch. Before I jump into any complex or strange rules of grammar that no one understands, I am going to focus on parts of speech today. Sure, you may think you know your parts of speech, but lets just give it a refresher because it is fun to get to know your language on a deeper level. For example, did you know that there is a name for everything? Seriously. You know that little dot above every lower case i and every lower case j? That has a name. It is called a tittle. And since I told you that little bit of useless knowledge you might as well know that the horizontal line that crosses your t is called a crossbar.

            Okay, back to parts of speech. Let us start with the most popular members of our parts of speech: